various brain waves

I'm debating what to do with this blog in 2009. So far it's been a mix of funny kid stuff, ideas and sharing ways God's revealed Himself to us. But I'm not sure what to do with it. It seems to be a good way to stay connected with people we don't see often enough, but I've been reading some other blogs that really pack a punch and I'm wondering if I'm supposed to move in a new direction. I want to make people aware of great things that are happening in the Kingdom - like organizations that exist to bring clean drinking water to remote places in the world. Because it's the internet, I have guarded what I've said, but I'm wondering if I need to be bolder. In light of all that, let me throw this out there: I just heard on the news that a majority of americans are appalled with Israel's attack in the Gaza Strip. I then went to the top Israeli news website to get their perspective. Very interesting. http://www.israelnationalnews.com/ Anyway, I wonder if I'll ever be forced to choose between supporting Israel and supporting the U.S. After the Precepts Bible study I did on the book of Revelation, I have a whole new perspective on God's chosen people and the covenant He has with them. These are things we need to think about and yet I get pretty caught in the comfy american life which leads me down a globally-oblivious path very quickly. Sometimes God's heart for the world overwhelms me and I am tempted be be mentally and emotionally paralyzed, but I will not be apathetic or worse; oblivious. But seeing what He sees brings me grief and a burden in my spirit that is so heavy I have to pray. Pray, pray, pray. That word drives me crazy sometimes. I think it's definitions are too numerous to count. When I say that being broken for the world pushes me down to prayer I mean laborious, lamenting, heartache prayer. But, it hurts my heart and I have been resisting "going there". It's much better to stay happy. That's a lie. Today I was very frustrated with Jackson because he would not complete his math assignment. I was ready to come unglued. (hope he will forgive me for posting about him without asking him first, but he's asleep already) The most frustrating aspect was his continual repetition of the phrase, "I will Mommy". So, as OFTEN happens, I see myself in this same scenario. I keep telling God that "I will" pray - but the assignment is set aside uncompleted. I want to change. I know He wants me to pray for His hurting world. I'm not sure what this blog will become, but it's time to be bold and it's time to reveal weaknesses and it's time to go to bed so I can get up and embrace His heart for His world.